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I feel bad without a job. What to do at home when there is no work

I feel bad without a job.  What to do at home when there is no work

anonymously

Good afternoon, Olga Sergeevna! My name is Valeria, 26 years old. My husband and I are now in a difficult situation, we want to get a divorce. For the last six months we have had constant scandals, quarrels. We have been married for 2 years. We are originally from Astrakhan. After the wedding, my husband was offered housing and Good work in the suburbs, I quit my job (hoping that I would also find a job in a new place) and we moved. In material terms, everything is fine with us, he makes good money, but the fact is that in 2 years I have not been able to get a job. If I myself had not been in such a situation, I would not have believed that this is possible! I am a fence nurse blood, most medical centers work from 8, and more often from 7.30. It takes 2.5 hours to go to Moscow by train, so you have to get up at 4 in the morning. I tried to look for work nearby, there are practically no medical centers, and there are no staff required. My husband works 20 minutes away by car, leaves at 8 and arrives at 8. And I’m in a bunker all day, like in isolation, it’s very hard for me because I worked from the age of 18 both in a hospital and in a clinic, where there is such a flow, there’s no time to sit down, but now it’s like this. The village is small, I don’t have friends here, there’s nowhere to go. After a year of such a life, I slowly began to go crazy. child. We started to take tests, went to a reproductive specialist. Both of them found serious problems I have a heart and a thyroid gland, my husband is like a man. All this together resulted in my current state, in my depression, in disappointment in life. I blame my husband for all my failures, although I understand with my mind that this is not so. Constantly I reproach him, I bring him to a cry, I say that he got himself a pet, that he did all this on purpose, that he is an egoist and thinks only about himself, about his career, but he doesn’t give a damn about me and my work. Over these 2 years, he moved on the career ladder. I'm happy for him, but I'm ashamed to admit, I envy him. Before marriage, I had a clear plan, there was a clear understanding of what and when I want. 27-28 years old to have a child. Then the second, and later think about some business of your own, perhaps cosmetology. And now I’m almost 27, and I don’t have a job or a child and all my plans collapsed. It sounds terrible, but I almost I hate my husband. I blame him for everything that happened. My husband feels it when I call him during the day, he tries not to pick up the phone, yells that he has no time and this angers me even more. Every evening we have a scandal. My mother says that because of sitting at home, I have nowhere to put my energy and I throw out all the negativity on my husband, which literally blows my mind. I understand this myself, but I don’t know what to do. I became angry, irritable. I really want to pack my things, return home, find a job and start all over again. But I also want to save my family, because no matter what, I still love my husband. For 2 years of sitting at home, I have practically become dumb, I don’t see a way out of the situation. Maybe you can tell me something?

Hello Valeria. I understand your feelings: fatigue from sitting at home, despair due to the inability to find a job, and despair due to the inability to contain anger at her husband. Your envy of your husband is also understandable, as is the desire to live according to a once-defined plan. As I understood from your letter, even in this state of desperation, you do not want to look for work outside medical centers. You have a fairly narrow specialization, so if you want to save a family, you should think about related specialties, or about work not in your first profession. This is first. Secondly, if you want to save your family, you should think about expanding your social circle. You write: "The village is small, I have no friends here, nowhere to go." Now, if you lived in Chukotka, then I would believe you that your village is so small, small, and there are so few people with whom you can get close, and there is absolutely nowhere to go except for the tundra. But since you live in the suburbs, it's hard to believe in it :-) . And thirdly: of course, you can drop everything and try to "start all over again." I am writing this phrase in quotation marks, because there are no drafts in life, it is impossible to start anything completely from the beginning. Now you are afraid of new, unusual steps for you that need to be taken in order to adapt to a new situation, to a new place of residence (to which you have not adapted), and it seems to you that “returning to the old” you will be happy. It seems to me that with the help of such fantasies you are trying to escape from the risk: the risk of making new acquaintances, the risk of mastering new profession, the risk of fighting for the dream of a child. And you have something to lose - a loved one who, apparently, really loves you.

Good afternoon dear community.

I am writing to you for the first time, I really need an adequate assessment of my own condition from the outside. I am no longer able to adequately evaluate anything.

I am not a Muscovite, and not from St. Petersburg. I'm from a simpler and smaller city than our vast country. I am 32 years old. It so happened that I just did not work out. I am not married, no children. It so happened that I received a diploma of a completed VO only this year. I studied sociology for 5 years. I really like the specialty, it is very interesting, especially the field of practical research. Four years ago I worked in a project, I made good money, I have good English. She worked as a translator. Then she left her job, because she really wanted to get a VO, and with a full-time job, her studies were very sluggish. My part-time jobs as a freelance translator began, interspersed with the work of secretaries and office managers (there is really no difference between these two). There was not enough money, and not enough catastrophically. barely enough for food, let alone clothing. IN Last year, thesis defense and all that, I had to borrow from relatives to pay for my studies. Prior to that, she paid for all four years herself, saved up. But in the last year, I couldn't. Finally, everything was over, I defended my diploma, passed the exams, everything was fine. I thought that there would be a diploma, there would be a well-paid, interesting job. The main thing is to be patient, to reach the end and that's it. And that's all. Here I have been sitting for 2 months without work, without orders at all, the last time I had to borrow from my brother (he was already tired of sending me money, the children himself). All day long I sit on the net in search, send resumes. Only now, with an amendment: I do not apply for the positions of office managers and secretaries .. It seems that such work has discouraged me for life. I really want to get into an international project. And here I confess, I have been applying to these international projects since 2014, I have never received an invitation, I thought because I don’t have a diploma .. and now I don’t even know what to think, because I still haven’t received any answers.
My emotional state is at, I don't know at what level. I'm barely holding back tears. During these 4 years I had to go through so many humiliations. The stupidest thing is that it was my conscious choice. I'm a fool? Why don’t other people at my age get into this, everything is humane for them, they don’t lead to such a crisis as I do ... Why do I have such a ... ??
Mom calls from time to time. She either has advice on how to find a job (she doesn't believe in the internet and her advice is to buy a city newspaper and watch ads there). Or it escalates the situation, reproaches, complaints and indignation.
The main problem now is the following. In theory, in my condition, I should grab the first job that comes across. What am I doing? Oh, in general, all this time I was interrupted by extremely insignificant earnings. I now have a fear of low income. And now I am resting on all 4 limbs just not to work in a low-paid place. I submitted, once again, international organization, they have a selection period until the 25th. And I'm still waiting for them to call me, but if they haven't called in 3 years, why should they call now? And I already imagined so much. She has already built her whole future life with this work.
During all this time, I got a call from the organization where I applied for a personnel officer, when I came for an interview, it turned out that they were not a personnel officer (why lie?), but stupidly recruiting English teachers. It's something like network business, only English courses are sold. I listened to the system of their work for 2 hours, even more than about 3 and a half. if they offered good money, but no, a negligible salary. This money is barely enough to pay bills and food, and that's it, not a penny more.
What should I do? No money, no jobs. condition is worse than ever. There are only incomprehensibly where the illusions come from.
As I understand it, there is nothing left for me but to start filing against secretaries and sellers, nothing else shines. Only I'm still trying to stretch the time ... I hope so much that they will call and offer something worthy. Is that inadequate? how to get rid of it, just go to work for the first job offered and that's it, but everything inside me rises straight, such indignation and disgust.

A friend recently said that if you are unemployed for more than 6 months, then after 6 months you will not find everything at all. And I have been unemployed for 4 years already. So.. And what should I do now? Am I unemployed for life? What to do?

Many have now lost their jobs, left with large debts on loans, do not know what to do. Or simply as a result of rising prices, there is not enough money.
Sitting and feeling sorry for yourself will not help matters. You need to find a new job or start your own business, in general, look for options to earn more.

And in this, oddly enough, in addition to professional skills, psychological moments, attitude, attitude towards oneself and life play an important role. The materials in this section will help you look at the situation in a new way, more realistic and optimistic.

An online course that can change your situation:"Financial well-being - without deceit and psychological pop"

Is it worth it to chase success? Alexey Gorbanev
Last year, our neighbor, who occupies a rather fat position, quit her job, rented out her beautiful three-room apartment to a successful young family and went to live in the country. Forever. Before retirement, she still had 15-20 years. The people around were perplexed and twisted their fingers at the temple. Quit this job? Such an apartment? Exchange everything for a wooden hut with lilacs under the window and a view of the swamp? It is not normal. Yes, everyone dreams of achieving such success!

Unemployment is one of those unpleasant moments in life when you feel like the ground is slipping from under your feet. The question is tormenting Now what?". Are you thinking about how you will make ends meet and how it will affect your family, or is it a good time to think about choosing another profession. If you're lucky, you'll be able to move from job to job without any problems. But for the rest, the adoption of a black streak of life called "unemployment" is inevitable.

Use unemployment benefits


The advantage of living in such a large country as Russia is the opportunity to receive unemployment benefits. The amount you can claim, of course, is not great. But thanks to registration, the state can offer a lot of vacancies. The process is different in each country, but you must apply for unemployment benefits and the money will help you get through your job search.

Do not panic


You are running out of money, you are afraid to be left homeless, do not panic. Panic only makes it worse. In order to succeed, you must maintain confidence and vigor. Keep calm. Tell yourself that everything will be fine, you will find a job. It is likely that this will happen even sooner than you expect.

Volunteering


If you can't find a job, don't waste your time. When a person has a lot of time, if he is unemployed, then you can discover and develop other interests and hobbies. Helping the community, or those less fortunate than you, is a great opportunity to develop skills and meet new people. Of course, participation in such activities can be a proud addition to the resume and increase the possibility of employment.

Believe me, employers are not devoid of human qualities. In general, do not lose heart about the work. To keep busy and productive, just go beyond yourself and help those who are even worse off than you.

freelance work


Freelance companies are looking for translators, website developers, designers, etc. If you are a professional, you can find a lot of similar work on freelance sites, where vacancies are posted daily. Some projects may offer hourly rates, others a fixed price. Regardless of the format, you can do freelance work until you find another one.

This allows you to have maximum flexibility and control over your time. And if you are a real master of your craft, you can easily develop a portfolio, thanks to which you can count on good offers.

Contract with an employment agency


There are a number of recruitment agencies that can help you find the right job under contract in your area. Some of them specialize in youth employment services. The agency keeps a record of various job postings, then contacts you when the employer makes a request. Most often, this will not require any payment from you. All costs for personnel search services are usually borne by employers.

Refresh your strength


Unemployment is a great opportunity to brush up on knowledge and skills in your job search. Write a good resume. Prepare for an interview interview. Try to be a good candidate and be ready for the call.

Use job search sites


Most people, in order to find another job, spend a lot of effort. As the saying goes, who seeks will always find. First, register on job sites, upload your resume, create profiles on job sites. Many jobs are not placed in the first places. And if you are diligent enough, you will find a lot of offers in your city.

Feel free to publish your resume openly, let people know your contacts - this increases the chances. You can also call and send resumes to companies that interest you.

Don't accept defeat


Job hunting is an art worth learning. Entire books have been written about it. If you haven't been answered for twenty vacancies, and all ten interviews have not been successful, this does not mean that you are hopeless. Finding a job is very similar to street dating. Get better at this. If one employer hasn't approved you, there are many other jobs available.


So, no one answered your requests, and no one invited you for an interview. It is possible that this is a sign in order to reconsider your profession. Change the type of employment, paying special attention to the needs of the market and listening to your heart. Analyze your inclinations, hobbies and hobbies.


You haven't found a job. Instead of looking at it as a failure, take it as an opportunity to rest and rejuvenate. You have worked hard, it will take time and effort to continue. To do this, you need to have a good rest.

Increasingly, there are offers to earn money online. We offer you to get acquainted with the advice of a business coach on how to find a job on the Internet and not fall into the clutches of scammers.

If you have lost your job or have experienced a difficult economic situation in your country after graduation, there are ten steps you need to take right now. John Acuff, author of the book with the encouraging title "Get Started" simply and concisely describes the actions that anyone can perform. And they will lead you, according to his plan, to an extraordinary life in the status of an accomplished person.

1. Remind yourself what exactly you have lost.

You have lost not your "I", but your job. Fear and doubt are always trying to turn this situation on its head so that you think that by losing your job or not finding one right after college, you have lost your "I". It's a bullshit. You have lost not your "I", but a position with a certain name and a place in a certain building. You can still be a wonderful, wonderful wife, a good friend - there are a million options. Don't listen to fear and doubt now.

2. Be realistic about the length of this period

Fear and doubt now tell you that this is forever. You will remain unemployed not for a week, a month or even a year, but for the rest of your life. You will never find a job again. Employers do not want 50-year-olds (twenties, forties, child-burdened employees). You will be out of work for the next thirty years. It is not true. This is just a period of your life; it always seems to us that it lasts too long, but I assure you: it will definitely end.

3. Look at the numbers from the opposite perspective

I really believe that now is the best time in the history of mankind to search new job. Twenty years ago it was impossible to go online and study the state of an entire industry in a matter of minutes. You couldn't send out resumes to 100 organizations in one day or find urgent jobs for freelancers. But when you watch the news and track the country's unemployment rate, it's not surprising to lose heart. So the next time you hear about the unemployment rate, look at it from the opposite perspective. I was taught this by a twenty-two-year-old senior. I told him there was high unemployment among college graduates right now. To which he replied with a smile: "Yes, unemployment is high. But even if it is 20 percent, it just means that you should be in the top 80 percent." Look at the numbers from a different angle.

4. Think about job search circles

While you're out of work, you have to properly organize your search in three different circles: geography, industry, and form of employment. The longer you stay out of work, the more carefully you should expand these circles. For example, in the first month or two, you can simply look for a new job in your city. In the second and third months, other cities can be covered. The same applies to the industry in which you are searching and the form of employment (full-time, part-time, or part-time). by the hour). Do you want to try to speed up your job search? Then quickly expand these circles.

5. Job search is now your new job

Never think of yourself as unemployed. Once you've been fired or graduated from college but haven't found a job, you get a new job called a job search. You are busy with it 5 days, 40 hours a week - full time. Enlist the help of a friend to demand reports from you and help you track your progress. Establish criteria for measuring performance: for example, "number of resumes sent out", "jobs I applied for", etc. I don't have accurate data on how many people spend such efforts looking for a new job; but ask your unemployed acquaintances and friends. How many of them treat finding a new job as their job? Most likely not at all.

6. Find a temporary job

It is a hundred times easier to give this advice than to follow it, but this does not detract from its wisdom. You may need a temporary part-time job to prevent such horrors as a power outage for non-payment or moving back to your parents. Such work can be described as "forget about self-conceit, I never thought that I would work here, but difficult times require difficult measures." For example, on the day I wrote this section, I saw an ad: a bakery needed a baker, opening hours were from 11 pm to 7 am. It is not easy and will not bring pleasure. But it's great for a temporary job. And never fall into the delusion: "If I work part-time, I won't be able to go to interviews and look for a full-time job." This is ridiculous. Do you have to refuse interviews at 4 in the morning, because at this time you bake rolls?

7. Keep yourself in shape

A working person can be compared to a marathon runner. And when they lose their jobs, most people quickly gain weight first. We stop getting up early, keep to the daily routine, and our life becomes chaotic. Sometimes we run into an interview and then wonder why it didn't go well. When you don't have a job, you still need to stay in working shape. When I lost my job, my wife made few demands on me, but this was one of them. She had to get up at 06.30 in the morning to go to work, and I also got up at this time. So on weekdays, I showered every morning and got dressed in preparation for the start of the day. Otherwise, the day before, I would have watched the series until late and overeated, and then slept longer. Do not lose work uniform just because you don't have a job.

8. Join a community

Fear is afraid of society and is always trying to drive you to a desert island. This also happens when you lose your job. Therefore, try to join the right community of people who are looking for work as soon as possible. This group should encourage you, challenge you and help you while you are looking for a job. Don't act alone.

9. Start a blog

Or use Instagram, register on Twitter, Facebook. For what? Because all applicants for workplace tell the interviewer, "I'm very interested in this industry!" And they hear in response: "And what exactly is your interest expressed in?" To which the candidate says: "Well, a lot of things. It's even hard for me to choose an example." You say, "Firstly, I blog about the industry. I also participate in communities of experts in the industry. You can check out my Twitter account, where I post links to the best articles about the industry." After all, you have all the tools to make a more favorable impression on the interlocutor than other candidates. Take advantage of these tools!

10. Place results at the beginning

This is a purely tactical, but effective move. At the top of most resumes, people write the heading "Goals" followed by paragraphs like this: "Work in a people-centric friendly team where I can apply my skills, abilities and innovative approach for the benefit of the company. "Setting goals at the beginning of the resume is useless. Why? Because everyone can write the same, but little meaningful words about what they aspire to do. That way you won't stand out from the crowd.

Start with a short (less than 100 words) paragraph "Results" listing accomplishments related to the position you are applying for.

It may be difficult for you to write a paragraph about your achievements or results. But I assure you that in your career you have certainly done something interesting and important. If you have worked somewhere for one or two years, you only need to create one interesting proposal based on this experience. One year of work - one offer. It is within the power of everyone.

Even if you are a recent graduate and just getting started in the industry, you can insert a sentence or two into this paragraph that will generate questions, interest, and lead to an interview.

Whatever the reason you don't have a job right now, it's good that there are tactical steps you can take to remedy the situation. The great news is that everyone has a chance to start over and achieve excellence.

Discussion

I filed a complaint in the search for work in the city of Lipitsk work in the first shift I am 50 years old tell my father pensioners work anam at 50 years old they do not have any work and how to live pensioners receive a pension and are still working at 50 years old already nothing will be arranged for such arrangements I am waiting for an answer

01.06.2018 14:06:20, Kopylova Olga Vasilievna

I am 50 years old, I live in the city of Lipitsk, I want to file a complaint in the search for a job in the city of Lipitsk, work in the first shift, a packer, I am already 50, they refuse to help me find a job only in the city of Lipitsk, how to live, I don’t know what else to write and how to write more nothing

25.04.2018 14:01:42, Kopylova Olga Vasilievna

24.04.2018 13:35:34, Kopylova Olga Vasilievna

I live in the city of Lipitsk for 50 years, I complained in the city of Lipitsk, I work in the first shift, a packer, I’m already 50, I don’t know how to work after a computer, and I didn’t try to work as a computer operator, but I don’t try any more

20.04.2018 18:34:47, Kopylova Olga Vasilievna

I live in the city of Lipitsk for 50 years, I filed a complaint about the habit of looking for a job in the city of Lipitsk, I work in the first shift as a packer, but I broke my arm this month I will have to wait, work, but I still haven’t found a job and I’ll never find you, you just keep asking, but you can’t help me niatkavo didn’t get any results, but I’m already 50 years old and what to do

17.04.2018 11:44:45, Kopylova Olga Vasilievna

I am 50 years old, I live in the city of Lipitsk, I complained about looking for a job, only in the city of Lipitsk, I work in the first shift, a packer, now I don’t want to look for a job, I’m sitting in a cast, I don’t know how much I’m sitting now, I now said I’m out of work and what to do with our drink, only this pamiret rode

03.04.2018 19:01:03, Kopylova Olga Vasilievna

"Start a blog" - I'm not sure that blogging can really be an advantage over other candidates.

Job search is a kind of lottery and a test of luck))) How lucky!

I think it's worth a try

good idea with reports, will have to try to do that

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